Unknown

I'm listening to Photograph by Nickelback right now.

Put me almost in tears. Almost.

It's so damn hard to say goodbye. So damn hard. This year has been nothing but goodbye. Everyone I cared for are slipping away from me. At first I thought that things would work out after summer. We'd meet each other again...I'm not too sure about that anymore.

My closest friends are studying so far, far away from me. The friends (okay, friend-enemies really) who said were going to study in XU are not actually going to be there. Take Ralph for example. He said he was going there but he's not.

It's just that...Life is taking away a lot of things from me and I don't think it's gonna give me something in return. High school sent me broken. I don't know how to make friends anymore. Scratch that. I do know. But now I'm darn too chicken to try.

Shit. What the hell am I going to do in college? I don't want to repeat high school where most of the fun times I ever did, I did by myself.

Oh, hell.
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I know it's a bit too late. The Farewell party happened two weeks ago but I must have a written record of it.

So, here's what happened on the 24th of March:

It was already decided that everyone would meet at IS campus at 8:00 am. Unfortunately, in the Philippines, there's a thing we call the Pilipino time where people would always come an hour later than the announced time. So, it was not surprising that when I arrived at exactly 8:00, only Camille and Sheer Magne were there.

So we talked a bit. One by one, more people came. Then Sir Mhel arrived at the scene and called for an emergency meeting. We still didn't have anything to eat for later so, he assigned people to buy some groceries and we'll just cook them at the resort.

I went in Kim's car. We'd just drop Lester, Sheer Magne and Paolo at Gaisano and the rest would go directly at the resort.

Morabora. It has a pool as big as our lawn and two rooms, each the same size of our living room and dining room put together. There's a convention hall where we can have our meals and a bar decorated with empty wine bottles. There's a little cottage on the rear where the view is spectacular. It was the best resort I've ever been in (that's not saying much though).

Unfortunately, while we were chatting (Kim, Chelsea and I), we heard a familiar laughter from the next door resort (Quality), the evil laugh of Nicolo which can only mean...Br. Eusebius Adrian is on the other side. The history between the battle of Eusebius and Hille (our precious section) is a long story (actually all the other sections hated them). Just imagine a typical scenario of a school having a first section. Anyway, the fact that they're near made me feel down. I didn't want a fight that day.

Then, Shara (from Eusebius...Charles' girlfriend...ally) came inside. She said that at 6:00 pm, all the sections would come together for a grad ball (all sections had a farewell party at the same day and the resorts were practically neighbors, yet our allies were a bit far from us). When everybody else came, I told everyone about it. I don't have to tell you what their answers were.

So, when things were settled, everyone had fun. Lester was cooking (actually grilling meat...yum) while Abby and company were making rice. All the rest...SWIMMING!


Lunch was superb. We didn't have much money so all we bought were paper plates and disposable cups. But nobody minded eating with their hands. Our drinks were Infinit (imagine strawberry/orange-flavored Cali with alchohol) with credits to Melissa who brought two boxes of them. What did you expect from Hille, the pinakapasaway (most rebellious) section? I'm not kidding, our section had the most number of violation reports received.

Then we continued swimming. Jay and I were trying desperately to learn how to float. Lester, Charles and John competed for the best pose-dive. Some took pictures. Sheer Magne was the sexiest, wearing spaghetti-strapped blouse and shorts but she did not swim though. Diane was just texting (she's not allowed to swim).


Just before sunset, we Ferry, Nelps, Mabby, and I went to the sea. It was low tide so a patch of sand appeared somewhere in the middle of the sea. We went there and played sandball (think of snowballs with sand). We covered Nelps with sand. I wrote our section's name on sand. Miki, Abby and Billy also came and collected a lot of starfishes and used them to write there names.

Sigh. It was great. Everything was great. But it wasn't anything compared to what happened at night.
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Papa did not pass the BAR exam.


BAR Exam is an exam taken by law graduates. (In case you didn't know) If you pass, the government gives you a license which gives you a lot of advantages in life (money, fame, blah, blah, blah).


This is the second time he took the exam (and failed). You can't believe the hell I've been through while he was busy taking that damn exam. The first time was tedious though he was only gone for a month. I was in charge of the family budget composed of P6000. Trust me, a family can barely live with P6000 a month. Last year (the second time), he left for 7 months. He took a reviewer's class thingy in Ateneo de Manila (what a waste of good money). If one month was hard, imagine how much I suffered in 7 months.


You might be thinking, "What kind of kid says such things to a father?" or something along those lines. Well, let me tell you this. My mom went to Canada to work as a caregiver. Why? She wanted to be rich. When she was unmarried, her whole family (a mother, a father, and 7 children) lived in a house with only one room. She'd do anything to escape that life. My dad always wanted to be a lawyer but he was never supported by his parents (they didn't even go to any of his graduations). His father (my grandfather) wanted his eldest son (Uncle Benjoe) to be a lawyer since he always had high grades. Mommy (my grandmother) would not spend more money for Papa to be lawyer and so, he trained to be a priest where he met my mom, a member of the church's choir.


In short, my parents left us to reach their own dreams. I'm angry because while they were off chasing their castles in the air, we were left behind----no, I was left behind and was given the heaviest burden I ever carried. Every day, I dealt with a spoilt sister, a hardheaded brother, an abusive yaya (nanny), a lazy yayo (boy version of nanny) and a moocher (son of a family friend).


So now, Papa is his room (silently crying, I bet). Sigh. I feel sorry for the guy. I DO want to comfort him. It's just that I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong things. Besides, I think taking the exam was foolish. When I found out that the exam was filled with essays, I knew he was not going to pass. Papa's real smart but he's not good with English grammar.


God, your test turned me into this.


I wonder...what your next test will turn me into.