The Life of My Teddy Scruff
Unknown


What are you looking at?

Hmph. Writer, eh? Never heard of such a thing in these parts. No story here. Just an old stuffed bear collecting seven years of dust in a corner.

...

Wasn't always like this, you know? I was clean once. Like squeaky. And smelled like new bear, too. Then SHE had to come along.

It was Christmas and I happened to be Her present. Damn! You know what's worse than getting a little girl for an owner? A freaking thirteen-year-old little girl for an owner! And She wasn't even rich for crying out loud! So I was pretty low in maintenance.

I could still taste Her braces and feel Her grimy shirt on my fake fur. I swear I still smell like pre-teen puberty! As soon as She hugged me, I knew I was done for.

She was an annoying little brat. Every time She could, She'd tell me about Her day, Her friends who were obviously using Her but She couldn't see it, Her stupid crushes who didn't deserve Her. Kept talking to me as if She expected that I'd talk back. If I didn't know any better, I bet she was crazy.

Named me Scruff. What kind of name is Scruff?!?!

She'd always hold on to me when She slept and let me tell you, She's the kind who you do NOT want to sleep with. Kept tossing and turning the whole night round. So, more or else I'd find myself squeezed underneath Her for half of the night. I'd be lucky if I ended up on the floor in the morning. Rather them rats than Her heavy ass.

Everything She did pissed me off. She laughed like and idiot and didn't let anybody bring Her down. She'd blindly go to Her friend's house in the middle of the night whenever they called that something's wrong. She kept hugging me even if I've been God knows where. She was forever bubbly. I was forever bleak.

She was especially bubbly when Miko came to town. That asshole played Her like a dog chewing on a squeaky toy. And although She claimed that he was thoughtful and sweet and all that shit to Her, he ended up falling for her bitch of a best friend instead.

She spent a whole night crying for him. Told Herself that She was good for nothing and ugly. If only...

That night was the only night I felt something on my chest of stuffing. And I didn't like it one bit. I couldn't do anything. She was 18 then and teddy bears like me are forced to stay on the shelf.

I just sat there and watched Her cry.

That night was also the only night that I actually prayed. No idea who I was really talking to but I remember Her mentioning about a Big Guy Upstairs that made stuff happen. Like I said, She was a potential loony. But that didn't stop me from trying.

Yeah. Go ahead and laugh. Darn old Grumpy Scruff? Praying? I can't believe it myself either.

But yeah, I prayed. I prayed for the Big Guy to give my owner the ears to help Her listen to me. I prayed for Her to pick me up from that stupid shelf and let Her hug me.

I don't know. Must have prayed wrong. Maybe I should've prayed for a human voice so She could hear me. Maybe I should've asked for the muscles instead of stuffings so it'd be me doing the reaching out...

I just figured it'd scare the shit out of Her if she saw a walking, talking old bear coming towards Her in the middle of the night.

But I guess it don't matter no more. Nothing happened. I just watched. She cried.

After that, She wasn't as jolly as before. She came and went until She stopped coming back.

Her mama took the liberty of placing all us toys in a box with her name on it. Never seen daylight ever since.

...

What're you giving me that look for? Ain't what you expected? Well, screw you!

You ain't got a heart either.

No toy could've loved my girl more than I did.
0 comments | edit post
Submarine
Unknown

I catch a glimpse of pretty lights on a reflection from where I'm lying down. They're pretty and yellow. Maybe orange. Blinking. Twinkling.

Christmas lights?

I suddenly remember how pleasant my Christmases used to be. There was always a tree and we would always use the same red tinsel, the same Christmas balls and other decor. Only the Christmas lights changed. They tend to lose their brightness every other year or so.

But my favorite thing about that tree was the star.

It was gold and plain and inexpensive. It had red foil in the middle with bits of gold stuff jutting out. I remembered how when I was young, I'd catch myself staring at that star. Sometimes I take note at how dusty it always was.

I never did try to wipe it clean.

Then, I pretend it was a real star and tell it about my dreams and wishes. Then, I pretend it was talking back.

Every year that tree is put together. And every year the tree is taken apart and boxed away in a corner until it is needed again. It was like that for sixteen years.

Last year, I went back to Ozamiz for the holidays and I couldn't find the tree. I figured the place we rented was far too small to afford a huge tree blocking the dining room. I hope they didn't throw it out when they moved from Bagakay.

Last year was also my first Christmas without both my parents.

Now, I'm here lying down outside the office after watching the movie, Submarine. Didn't have the heart to finish the whole thing. Do I have to tell you why?

I finally decide to turn around and find out who was dishing out Christmas lights as early as October. Christmas lights?

Not really. Just a post lamp in Divisoria.

It isn't even blinking.

0 comments | edit post
How I Met Your grandMother
Unknown
So, kid. I'm a tell you how I met the love of my life.

Why?

Cause I want to, that's why. 

But I want to play dolls.

I was goin' on 20 back then...

You're just going to ignore me, aren't you?

...and she was just 15...

Sigh.

We met at her cousin's place. Joey, I think his name was. We were classmates back in college and although he ain't the brightest of us USC Engineerin' folks, he was by far the richest. He kept stickin' to me like gum on a tennis shoe. Hehehe. You see, I was one of them smart ones...aced that board exam without attendin' them reviewer classes those rich folk could afford. And well, slow Joey needed someone slick like your grandfather to get through college, don't he? And I needed some extra cash...

Your grandfather didn't exactly grow up to be stinkin' rich. So don't you ever go actin' like you can have all you want cause you can't.

So...at Joey's place. We were to start designin' houses for different number of people I think. I agreed to make his part in exchange for a couple of bucks which was a lot back then, let me tell you. We went inside this huge house and there she was....sittin' quiet-like, readin' near the window.

She was the prettiest darn thing I've ever seen.

I couldn't concentrate, y'know? Like the whole time, all that I could think of, all I wanted to see was her sweet face lookin' down on that book. How her lips suddenly curled after readin' somethin' funny I guess. And when she said hello...felt like an angel called my name.

I couldn't take it. After that day at Joey's, I had to see her again. I prayed to God I'd see her again.

Well did you?

I did.

It was fiesta and the whole city was celebratin' Viva Sto. Nino. Joey had wanted to spend the whole night with his girl but he had to chaperon his little cousin who wanted so badly to go to the pierya. 

That was my chance.

I told him, "I'll watch her for you. Take her to them rides. And you go have some sweet time with your girl." Idiot Joey, 'course, took the bait. Anythin' for a night of hot lovin, he said.

And I had my own sweet time that night. 

She was gentle and sweet. I told her about the fields and the dung I grew up in and she just smiled. She always wanted to ride them horses...even with all that dung lyin' around. And she told me about her story, that her parents wanted her to be perfect...when she already is...and how she would wait for her parents every night for dinner and they'd never make it cause of work.

We rode everything. That cash I got from Joey really paid off. Them swirlin' cups and roller coasters. I even rode on 'em horses that go round! And I was almost 20!

I held her hand and she'd let me. I put my arm around her...she didn't complain. By the time we went sittin' on top of that ferris wheel...I managed to kiss her.

T'was the first time for both of us.

Ever since then, we started goin' out. Secretly, 'course. Didn't want her family to find out. My Mama started wonderin' why I wasn't comin' home in sembreaks no more. Every day, I'd visit her in her high school right after class. We'd study together. Laugh together. Breathe together. We'd talk in the playground, in the park. Our favorite place was that tree near the college. Carol, we called it...She always wanted a daughter named Carol.

That's Mama's name.

Yes...Yes, it is.

I promised her at that Carol tree that I'll take her away and love her cause I did. And she promised to love me cause she did. And we both were head over heels in love.

I guess we weren't very good at hidin' our relationship at all. Friends kept seein' us together and t'was only a matter of time before Joey found out and rattled to my girl's parents. 

I got a call from her mother one day. By then, I was fresh out of college, ready to take that board exam and my girl had a year of high school left.

She told me her daughter was still too young for everythin' we were doin' and that she needed to finish schoolin' first. Said I wasn't right for her...bein' son of a farmer and all. She said if I really cared about her daughter and her future, I'd stay away.

And I did.

Never saw her. Never even said g'bye. Thought it'd be easier. But boy, did it hurt like hell...

...

...

Well?

Well what?

When did you see her again?

Oh, I didn't. I went on to become an engineer. Aced that darn board exam, worked in Cagayan. Never once looked back. I heard she became a nun. 

But what about grandma?

Her? I met her years later here in Cagayan. I was datin' a lot more than I could handle at the time. Y'know your grandfather is quite the looker. Coupled with a fat salary, your old man was the lady's man.

I was 29 then and figured it was time to settle down. Among all them women I had at the time, your grandma's the only one who was willin' to marry me at me hometown in Iligan. What is it with women who want to marry in a church? Thought she was the best option back then...she ain't picky at all.

That's it? You married grandma cause she was the only one who'd marry you in your place????

Yep. That's about it.

But---B--but....you loved that high school girl! Why didn't you go out and marry her? Isn't that what true love's supposed to be?

Pfsh. Christine, you're ten years old. I think it's time you learned that life ain't like you see in those darn pansy movies. True love ain't real, kid.

Aren't you supposed to tell me otherwise?

I'm family, honey. It's my job to shatter your dreams.
0 comments | edit post
Out
Unknown
out. art by asuka111. arranged by setti

And the phone rang.

She saw his name on that screen and underneath were two options she wished she didn't have to choose from: accept or ignore.

It rang once. It rang twice. On the third time, she picked it up.

It's amazing how something important can be decided with just a press of a thumb.

Deep breath. "Hello?"

"Hey!"

"..." Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

"I saw you earlier. I wanted to walk up to you but you were sorta busy talking to someone else."

"Yeah...darn Nico keeps going on and on about the concert this Friday."

"A concert that I'm not invited to."

"Oh, c'mon! We both know what would happen if you went."

"You're right. I just want to be with you, is all."

Shit. "Don't be like that. I wish things were different, too."

"Really?"

Did he get what I meant? "Really what?"

"Nothing." Ba-dum. Ba-dum. "Nevermind. So, how was your day?"

"It went fine. Woke up late. Went to class late...the usual. You?"

He laughed. "Woke up early. Went to class on time...the usual."

"..."

"What were you doing before I called?"

"Just thinking."

"Not a very good sign. About what?"

"I don't know. Stuff. Like...Oh! You remember that moment we first met each other?"

"When you had spaghetti on your hair?  How could I?"

"Yeah...but you had milk all over your face!"

"Aha! So you did notice the milk! And you didn't even bother to tell me about it until the professor saw us. You could've at least saved me the embarassment."

"Pfsh. It's not my fault you decided to take that piece of pasta off of me. Never asked you to."

"But that's what I liked about you."

"The spaghetti on my hair?"

"No. The way you could always take care of yourself. I liked it."

Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

And it's amazing how a random thing could mark what was probably the best thing that ever happened to you.

"And that was how it all started."

"Yeah..." Paused on both ends. "I miss it, you know. How we both could never run out of things to talk about."

"And how we kept playing 20 questions so we could both find out more about each other."

"Oh yeah! And don't forget how we kept betting on who could come up with the best pick up line."

"Nah. You cheated and googled everything up." A playful banter ensued.

"...I missed our games. And how we liked and disliked the same things."

"Except for Jason Mraz. You never did like him."

"He's gay."

"Fighting for gay rights doesn't make you gay!"

Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.

And it's amazing how easy for one singer to tear two people apart.

"Fine! Geez! Chill."

"Ugh. And you wonder why I didn't buy you a ticket for the concert. You'll just bitch about him the whole night."

"Hey! I don't bitch."

"Yeah, you do. You do it all the time."

"No, I don't!"

"Look, Mike. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just drop the issue, okay?"

"Who says we're fighting???"

"You're bitching again!"

"What---"

"STOP IT. Don't argue. Please."

Ba-dum. Ba-dum...Ba-dum.

And how five words can destroy three years worth of memories.

"Mike...we need to talk."

"It's Nico, isn't it?"

"...Not on the phone."

"Fine. I'm out."

"I'm out, too."

...And how one button could mean something bigger, something painful, something that almost feels like relief.

She pressed End.



0 comments | edit post